Saturday, January 23, 2010

Poop on demand

     Tonight we had an excellent dinner. Chicken breasts with artichoke. I am doing low carb (still on it, just forget to tweet my every meal) so the artichoke was a real treat. Dipped in 100% real lemon butter-YUMMY!!! The meal was great, found out HM loves (and can eat) artichoke, and he even sat long enough that I could eat without him climbing on the table trying to throw my plate at SPF.  (We recently gave up the high chair.) Everything was a smashing success until HM left the table and proceeded to take a big dump- IN HIS UNDERWEAR!! ARGH, I HATE this, do I toss or do I wash and bleach? SO SICK of having to make these decisions!

    Let me backtrack a bit here. We are in the process of potty training. He is 100% on pee pee, but not so much on poop. He waits till he is in a pull up for sleeping times, or goes in his pants, every once in awhile  he makes it to the potty. He is a curious sort when it comes to poop. He has a type of chronic constipation that causes chronic diarrhea-I know, weird. So he takes daily stool softeners (Miralax) with monthly "clean outs".  "Clean outs"  consist of double doses of Miralax as well as a laxative for a three day period. Can you imagine a toddler on a laxative? No, it's not pretty!

     So even on this regimen, the boy refuses to poop if I am not around. He won't poop at day care, won't poop during weekend stays at Grandma's, he saves it all for me. That's what got him in this dam mess in the first place. Then to top it all off, he poops on demand. Not on my demand of course. I mean that strictly in a cable television sort of way, on his demand. You know, like Sprout or Nick Jr. on demand. Every night without fail he poops over and over again as a way to get out of bed. Me and SPF have dubbed it "poop on demand". He will go all day with out a pull up,  then go through 8 (yes really 8!) at bedtime. SPF will hear him in there forcing it out. It's crazy!

     So this brings me full circle. Wouldn't you think a boy with this much bowel control would be a cinch to potty train? Yeah right!  He pooped so much tonight, I thought for sure he would be empty. Yet still, he had enough for our nightly episode of "Poop on Demand" brought to you by none other than HM! It's driving me nuts.

     Wait a minute, did I really just make an entire post about my toddler's poop? I guess I did. Oh well, all you mom's out there have, or are, going through the same shit as me-pun intended.

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