If I actually had a medical degree

     I just want to say the following statement to health insurance companies:

     What's that on my finger you ask? Why, it's a homemade splint. Why? Because I have health insurance, that's why.

     You see, I have a condition called trigger finger. It causes my fingers to lock up when I open or close my hand, and causes alot of pain. I have known I need surgery, but have opted to try other things first-cortisone shots, etc. Since I recently changed health plans again, I am all the way back at square one. I am in limbo, needing surgery, yet having to wait for the stupid referral department (that supposedly doesn't even have a number I can reach them at.) to process my referral from my primary care physician. My PCP won't even touch my hands, therefore the homemade splint.

     Yesterday I woke up and couldn't straighten my right middle finger at all, it's never been that bad before. I forced it open later in the day, (I won't even attempt to explain the pain that caused!) but then it wouldn't close. My hands always seem to be best in the evening, and worst in the mornings. So I decided I needed a splint to prevent me from closing my hand (and therefore getting stuck) in my sleep. A couple handles from plastic forks, and some medical tape......voila, instant splint. Thank you Dad's old boy scout manuals. Here is what I came up with:

     Worked like a charm, woke up with minimal pain, and minimal clicking in my finger. Just think what I could do if I actually had a medical degree, .....mmmm.